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Deseem was to be a gift to God, trained from birth to be a priest but when his father, the king, is short on allies and heirs he's ordered to become a Bentan Bride. Left with no choices and options he braces himself for the worst.Liam is used to how his magic frightens people and he's learned to like his isolation. He's content being a Watcher and finds real joy in his worDeseem was to be a gift to God, trained from birth to be a priest but when his father, the king, is short on allies and heirs he's ordered to become a Bentan Bride. Left with no choices and options he braces himself for the worst.Liam is used to how his magic frightens people and he's learned to like his isolation. He's content being a Watcher and finds real joy in his work. The last thing he wants is a Bentan Bride.When destiny and chance bring them together they both have to struggle to build a new life.Status: CompleteWord count: approx. 200,016 ...

Title : snowflakes and embers
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 8088305
Format Type : online fiction
Number of Pages : 640 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

snowflakes and embers Reviews

  • Geekygirl Gamer
    2019-04-09 12:51

    Okay, I just finished this.Let the review begin.The summary sounded really promising, and the beginning of the story was great as well.Prince Deseem is fourteen years old when he's told he will be married off to a stranger (once he's a little older) for an alliance in order to strengthen Bastion, his father's kingdom, which is currently at war with Corena, a neighbouring country.So far, so good.Liam, Prince of Corena, recently lost his beloved wife in the war. He has not yet had time to mourn for her when he is told he will have to remarry for an alliance - the youngest Bastion Prince of all people, son to the man responsible to his wife's death.Still good.Why did I not love the book, then? Why only two stars?The answer is simple: The writing totally killed it for me.I'll start lightly; the names bothered me.I agree that fantasy countries can have their own languages and, as a result, pretty fancy names. Deseem, for example, is a nice name that's not too fancy and still easy enough to pronounce while not being some everyday name.Deseemdamiah is pushing limits.Irend - nice, creative.Irendorialah? Hard to remember.My personal favorite, though, was Restonarinach. Seriously, I'll be fluent in Dothraki before I learn to pronounce that. Every time he appeared, I stumbled over the name, which kind of ruined the flow.The last name that really bothered me was Malcome. I actually wondered whether the author had misspelled Malcolm.[EDIT: Seems like you can actually spell it that way. Looks weird to me, but oh well...]Next, spelling.The names were misspelled on more than one occasion. Liam and Deseem became Laim and Dessem. I'm a stickler for spelling, I know that, and I'm willing to overlook some things, but misspelling a main character's name? That's a big NO. Really.There were also chard - or charred? - beddings and a whole lot of other spelling mistakes as well as great confusion about then and than - in fact, those were almost always wrong - and lay and lie.Some mistakes actually changed the meaning of a sentence, others just plain annoyed me...On to INTERPUNCTUATION!S. A. Payne likes to keep her main and subordinate sentences strictly separated, and it turns out that question marks are an amazing means to achieve that. If you want to write an if clause? Just slam a question mark in there!... you get my drift? It works once, but not every. damn. time. Same goes for question marks after indirect questions. Using it once is okay, using it all the time makes it seem like you don't know that's not how it's supposed to be.Other than that, there were commas in all the wrong places. Before commas, for example, or in the middle of a simple sentence that has no need of a comma. I was, however, missing commas in other places, so the average number of commas in the story was probably correct, only the placement might need improvement.Another big point, the flow.Actually, if it hadn't been for the other flaws, this one would have gone largely unnoticed, but I had to distract myself with something.The beginning of the story was great, really. I got really into it could relate to the characters (as much as one can relate to someone in their situation).And then, it started.(view spoiler)[In the beginning of Liam's and Deseem's relationship, Deseem is all meek and submissive due to the cleansing. Understandable, really. He's scared of what might await him in their wedding night, and even after that, he's afraid of what his husband might do to him. Okay, I get that. But then, the cleansing is reversed. Deseem is still shy - sure, you don't just forget about the rules you've followed for as long as you remember - but eventually, he starts voicing his opinions and so on. Fine.Liam likes it too. Every time Deseem does something, Liam thinks something along the line of "Well, it's a start". Only that happens all the time, and eventually, I started thinking How many starts does the boy need??! (hide spoiler)]For every step forward, Deseem takes two, no, five steps backwards. He makes minor progress, and then goes back to before. It's kind of annoying, because I expected some character growth. Well, that happened in the last 10% of the book, but I'll get to that later.Throughout the book (excluding the last two chapters), Liam proves to be emotionally retarded. Not the normal emotional retardation that men are born with (What? She likes me? How should I know???), he really seems to be a bit daft. Deseem practically spreads his legs and yells "DO ME HARD, HUSBAND!!!" (well, not exactly, but he does nearly EVERYTHING humanly possible) and Liam just doesn't get it. Not at all.(view spoiler)[And then, Deseem gets the best idea ever: He'll show his (dense) husband just how much he secretly wants him by getting some playboy to fake an affair.When does that ever work? OH RIGHT. It doesn't.Liam gets it wrong and runs away, and then everything is cleared up and he lets Deseem top him. And BAM! all their problems are solved. Yay! (hide spoiler)]Finally, the charactersWhile they showed great potential in the beginning, the characters became less and less original towards the end.Liam is a powerful Elemental and everyone fears him. Deseem has very little magic and never uses it consciously. He doesn't even feel any powers.(view spoiler)[He accidentally uses it while freeing Liam during the war.But then! When he eventually manages to convey his feelings to Liam (and shows he can do more in bed than just bottoming), it turns out he is an Elemental as well! Duh. (hide spoiler)]They're both a little Mary-Sue-ish. SUUUPER attractive, AMAZINGLY powerful, SOOOOOOOO smart, SPESHUL LIKE A SNOWFLAKE, TOTALLY misunderstood by everyone... yeah. I mean, I understand that they need *something* special, but they were just too amazing to be believable.On another note, did anyone else expect some kind of resolution for the war/the conflict between Deseem and his family/Deseem's eldest brother/Deseem's father's madness? I felt like those were kind of lost with the repetitive romance.Please don't get me wrong; I don't mean to be hateful. I know that writing can be difficult and everything, but I felt like this was not really worth the money for the subscription. I understand why so many people enjoy this story, but for me, the spelling and grammar just killed the enjoyment. With some slight editing, Snowflakes and Embers could be sooo much better...My rating: 2 stars for a promising story with not-so-promising writing.

  • Nikyta *Miss Forgetful*
    2019-04-06 16:51

    4.5 starsFor anyone that really knows me, they know how much I love certain aspects inside the m/m genre. Fantasy, arranged marriage, cruelty and abuse, quasi Stockholm Syndrome, emotionally messed up and broken characters, kidnapping or hostage situations, all those elements always end up making an exceptionally great book, in my eyes. With Snowflakes and Embers I felt like I was in heaven while reading it because it has all those elements (sans kidnapping. Sort of).To fully describe what happens in this book would turn out to be a synopsis because the book is extremely long but when it comes to fantasy, those are always the best kind. We get details, a lot of details, in this book. We get background information because it is all very important but most importantly we get to actually see almost all of the situations and problems play out. We learn about Deseem's life as a young teen and what he goes through because of his family, the choices that are taken away from him and how he ends up being this shell of a man when he finally meets Liam. Liam, however, is a mystery in his own way. We know about him but the things he's gone through in his life are both horrendous and awe-inspiring because of how he's been able to survive with it. What I took from this book, though, was acceptance and strength. Being able to see Liam and Deseem grow and change from damaged characters who couldn't get out of their custom roles to individuals who ended up loving each other even with the hardships they've faced was amazing. I felt what they felt. Their emotions were my emotions and whenever one of them was hurt or sad, I was hurt or sad. Honestly, both of them broke my heart because of how unique and strange they are compared their own people. Their relationship developed slowly and I really enjoyed that because it gave me the opportunity to enjoy the characters for who they were on the inside. Simply put, I loved these characters.I really did love this book because both the setting and the characters, were extremely interesting. However, this book had a lot of editing mistakes and at times it drew me out of the story but after a while I got used to it enough to bypass them. Also, at times Liam really pissed me off. While I love slow, intense build ups, his constant denial and bringing Deseem closer just to push him away annoyed and frustrated me but I knew why he did it so I accepted it even if I wanted to pull his head out of his ass then beat him with a stick.Overall, I really adored this book. It caught my attention from the beginning and kept it there. Deseem and Liam buried themselves inside my heart and wouldn't let up for even a minute. The world captivated me with the different cultures and the creatures involved. I'm not ready to let these two go yet so I sincerely hope there will be a sequel about them in the near future. Definitely recommended.

  • Ravyn
    2019-04-16 13:42

    Loved this. Loved the characters, loved the story, loved it all. But it's been too long since I've read it to say anything much more specific. I can say that I'm very excited about the sequel novel to be written at some unknown future time.Generally speaking, I've really enjoyed pretty much everything I've read from S.A. Payne's subscription website. I think she's super creative, with lots of interesting ideas, which is totally reflected in her many different stories. HOWEVER, I feel compelled to warn that the editing is pretty much non-existent on her website. There are LOTS of major issues with grammar and spelling. Lots of run-on sentences, improper use (or lack) of punctuation, and tons of spelling issues. I don't mean to go on and on, but seriously, it really bugged me. (Like using "than" instead of "then" constantly...I don't know why but that drove me nuts!) I think the reason the editing issues make me so crazy is because the stories are actually REALLY ENJOYABLE, and the lack of editing just detracts from that, which is a real shame. Bottom Line: Really unique premise, and overall, really enjoyable. One of my favorite m/m fantasy reads. 5 stars given for pure enjoyment factor rather than quality of writing. So beware the atrocious lack of editing.EDIT (6/3/11): Just re-read this, and loved it just as much as I did the first time. Probably my favorite story from this author, with Blurring the Lines at a close second. Reading this again, while incredibly enjoyable, seriously makes me itch for a sequel, though. Don't worry, it's not like it ends of a cliffhanger or anything (it doesn't, at all) -- it's just left open for more. And I want it!

  • Ankara
    2019-04-19 09:33

    This book belongs to the romantic fantasy genre. Deseem is a really complicated character, and i thought the concept of a male bride, essentially bartered into a political marriage with another man was so interesting. What happens when a man is told he must occupy the place of a woman, behave as one and is governed by the social mores applicable solely to women in a patriarchal society? Even right up to the way a woman dresses! Overnight Deseem is informed of his change in circumstances and told to deal with it. I think one of the many reasons i enjoy a good mm romance is that one can think outside the traditional stereotypes, but this book really added a great twist. Its a very touching read (among my personal list of tear jerkers) though honestly given the fact that a woman would have gone through all this as a norm, made me not want to sympathize with a man going through it (ok i understand if no one understood that sentence, but i don't know how else to put it).

  • Lilia Ford
    2019-04-13 13:50

    3.5Fascinating. It ended up quite different, and less dark, than I'd anticipated, with far less mindfuckery and none in the main relationship. The world-building and the Bentan Bride, forced feminization concept were fantastic, though the "mind-control" elements happen mostly off-stage, which turns this into a long hurt-healing story--very, very long. The story sprawls over 640 pages, though based on the actual plot, it could easily have been a third that length. (view spoiler)[Surprisingly, the story did not work up to any kind of gripping, substantial climax, as the quasi-tragic story of Deseem's mental violation gives way to an almost slapstick, friends-as-matchmakers storyline that could come right out of a Hollywood rom-com--I kept expecting the brother or the evil father to reappear, but they never did. (hide spoiler)]Despite these quibbles, I couldn't put it down. Definitely recommended for fans of epic-length M/M fantasy romances.

  • Leah
    2019-04-18 08:24

    This book is just magical. I was sucked into the universe Payne created and I didn't want to leave. Deseem and Liam's story...GAH read it for yourself. Have tissues, chocolate, coffee, water, and sleep aids handy; I swear you won't be able to put it down. FANTASTIC read

  • Brittany
    2019-04-13 13:29

    Snowflakes and Embers should have been tightened up and cut down 300 pages. It was too wordy and too repetitive. Is he doing it out of duty? Or is he really physically attracted to me? Would I be taking advantage of him? Does he really love me? Am I capable of loving him? Ugh! So many lonely nights and misunderstandings could have prevented if the author had done this one thing- let Liam and Deseem talk to each other! I love slow developed romances, but this was too much.No plot. No side storylines. Why was this 640 pages? WHY?

  • Edina Rose
    2019-03-23 11:35

    Well, this book had such a good rating...I finished reading the book and I am really disappointed. The book is less than average. It is too slow, the character are silly, the plot was good but turned silly... It is a shame because it is well written.

  • Ayanna
    2019-03-27 15:53

    3.5/5Hmm... Mixed reactions.It's good. Well written. It's got a lot of details, and a high plus is it usually wasn't presented in a series of info-dumps as some books do. The characterization was pretty good. The world is fascinating and seems rather interestingly complete and highly fascinating, especially Bastion traditions. However, there was markedly something lacking. Yeah, it was engaging but...I dunno, character dynamics seemed to be lacking. The grammar was also kind of weird and oddly punctuated at times, but the story managed to push through. Throughout all of it, though it still was...decided dull. Engaging, but dull.I felt kind of cheated at how seemingly abruptly it ended, but given how long it's already been, I don't actually have that much a problem with that.Oh, also, there were odd POV jumps. The third person narration sometimes drifted into 3rd limited, which makes jumps back to omniscient/other 3rd limited awkward.

  • Sonia189
    2019-03-29 10:43

    This book is so great I can't say it enough. For those who like romantic fantasy it's perfect. I loved everything about it :)

  • Manaji
    2019-03-26 15:44

    It's good, very good read. Although I have some issues with this one, so 3.75/5 stars. Firstly, I have to say that I am not a big fan of polygamy. Okay, I don't like it and I don't think that in a book with characters like Liam and Deseem, who are pretty damaged and need to rebuilt their trust , including idea of echangism, threesome, slowed the story and hited my nerves. The characterisation of Dessem was pretty good, really amazing because the story progressed in a way where you could understand him, understand why he was this little submissive and terrified man (in the beggining of the story). Liam...was not that good. I like him very much indeed but he lacked something, something we understand only in the last pages of the story and it's really, really frustating. The end seems rushed and most of the issues of the characters don't seems completly resolved. And for a big story like this one, it's don't feel right. Honestly, with the last words I have feel nothing, no joy, no sadness, no fear, no even relief. Nothing. Worst, the last proposition of Norlan, make me roll my eyes and wanted to punch him in the face and I just began to like him ! This comment was so out of place and I was like "What's the point ?!!". So yes, very good story in her whole, but the ending ? Not so much.

  • ❂ Endless
    2019-04-13 14:45

    3.5This book needs a sequel, like yesterday. At the end of this book it felt like the story arc and the character arc had reached a turning point and now the build towards the conclusion needs to be portrayed in the sequel. It was just getting to the meaty part of the story and the paranormal/magical aspects of it leaving behind all the angst, when the author decided to axe it and call it "The End".I sincerely hope the author is considering a sequel 'cos this book felt really incomplete and I didn't get the fulfilling satisfaction after the book ended. I couldn't convince myself to come out of the universe of this book because I felt the journey the author took us along for with these characters, is not complete yet.Also where this book looses massive points for me is: Editing : Grammar and Spelling are just atrocious! I have not come across an English speaking person, even someone whose first language is not English, to not know the difference between "then" and "than", seriously...!

  • pbj
    2019-03-27 13:27

    I forgot how much I loved this. S.A. Payne is the absolute master of damaged characters re-learning how to love. Her world-building is so fabulous and her characters are so well developed that like most of her books, I didn't want this one to end - and when it did, I immediately started searching for a sequel.Snowflakes and Embers is a beautiful, painful, and memorable love story set in a magical world being torn asunder by war. The main character, Deseen, has been cloistered his entire life in preparation for entering the priesthood. As a young teen, his circumstances change dramatically when his father, the King, decides instead to leverage him in a politically expedient marriage. The catch is - not as a husband, but as a Bentan Bride.There are so many clichéd roads this story could have gone down, but instead it is lively, surprising and satisfying. Worth reading over and over.

  • Kate
    2019-04-19 09:24

    I really, really loved the story, but the grammar was truly cringe-worthy. So very many errors took some of the enjoyment from the read. I know this is unpublished and thus unpolished, but some of the mistakes... Ugh. It read like it was written by someone who'd only ever listened to audiobooks; they knew how they wanted it to sound, but didn't quite know the right way to use commas and colons and semi-colons. I don't know how many times I itched to clean up the dialogue a bit, or chop up some run-on sentences. The potential for greatness was there; the author is an awesome storyteller. All that's needed is an editor, and not even a good editor at that! Just someone who's decent with grammar, sentence formatting, and knows how to use apostrophes to demonstrate possession, as well as the difference between than and then.

  • Jess
    2019-04-05 15:33

    This book has a very very long delicious feel to it. The author really let us get to know both characters and what makes them tick. I adored the long length of the story.The beginning does take a few pages to really get into the action/drama of the story. BUT - you need those chapters to really understand why both characters are so broken.The most interesting thing is....the author doesnt fall into to many cliches. More then once I was reading about something the characters did and I thought = uh oh = now there will be two chapters of miss communication and confusion.....well NO. The characters actually TALKED. - colour me surprised.Do I sound bitchy when I say I am pleasantly surprised to read about men that TALK to each other!!

  • Arielle
    2019-04-13 15:46

    The first half of the book caught me for long hours - the world building was stunningly detailed and relationships between the characters complicated. But after characters had arrived to Corena and reversed "cleaning" ritual, the whole plot was brought to silly intrigue to induct Liams jealousy in order to prove to him that he is in love. I was more intrigued about Deseems father - what he did after the wedding, or how his brother and uncle coped during the rebel or how Deseem will cope with his new powers - so I was reading and hoping fore more.

  • Carolinareader
    2019-04-17 11:38

    I really loved this book. At first I wasn't sure about Liam because he is getting over a major loss but I found the entire story to be gripping. Experiencing both Deseem and Liam's emotional journey made for fantastic reading. This was my first S.A. Payne book but it will not be my last.

  • Ririn
    2019-04-12 16:34

    *heavy sigh*

  • Vivian ♪(┌・。・)┌
    2019-04-12 08:39

    This wasn't a happy read, and it was difficult at times, but it was an enthralling one nonetheless.

  • Karen
    2019-03-20 16:48

    "chard bedcovers" is now my favorite typo ever. instead of picturing a pile of smoldering ashes i am picturing an odd pile of leafy greens...

  • Anne Marie Heller Cox
    2019-03-20 15:48

    4.5 stars!This book sticks with you. I read it years ago on line, and it has never let me go. The world building! The glimpses of light in the dark. Love and torture, enslavement, abuse, kindness and love. There are triggers here but they are an important part of the story. The story is set in a world where a culture with great beauty has grown a very dark side in a time of greed and war and magic. This is a love story, a long, involved, vivid journey. The ending is a happy one but I do want the author to write the next chapter in our MC's lives! If you like M&M epic other world dark romance this is a winner

  • Artemisia
    2019-03-28 10:50

    Way too long . Not enough editing (than/then, etc etc). Too much focus on unimportant details and their relationship, that the whole treaty and "civil war" was left unresolved. Who thinks making your spouse jealous is a good thing? Oh wait, these characters since talking between the MCs doesn't work. Only between the rest...Figure that huh...

  • Jane
    2019-04-01 12:37

    3.5 starsSo I really liked it! It lacked a central continuous plot, instead having many smaller ones that tied together. I didn't mind that, after all it is a yaoi story. But I can understand why some readers might not care for that, and I will talk about later, it isn't done quite as well as it could have been.The characters were great! I really felt and understood Deseem and Liam and was able to see how their characters grew. There's no insta love in this story (yay!!) but (view spoiler)[the story ends with them not completely in love either (hide spoiler)] I also LOVED the secondary characters. I can't even tell you how much supporting characters tend to annoy me in books, especially romances. But Lach, Bekka, and Norlan were a hoot! :) The evil characters also weren't even completely evil. You did tend to see a good side in every character, at least once, except for one character,(view spoiler)[ Deseem's father(hide spoiler)]. I loved the world they were in and the feels between family. Family angst and lack of acceptance is one of my favorite things to read about in books!So why not 5 stars? Well, a few things...First, the grammar and spelling. I know it's not published, but still, there were times when I would be drawn out of the story because of the atrocious editing. Whole sentences were awkward and didn't make sense, the punctuation wasn't correct in many parts, and words were substituted for other words or misspelled:"than" instead of "then" <-- this one happened a lot and really annoyed me "expect" instead of "except" "there" instead of "their"The story itself ended rather abruptly where I would have liked to see more. Know that in pdf form, the story is only 349 pages. It really isn't terribly long as some others would let you believe. The story begins a new, and rather major, arc before just kind of saying "We'll get through it together!" and then ending. Did the author not know how to explore that topic or was she tired of writing it and wanted to move on? I don't know. All I do know is that I was put off by the ending. I also was hoping to reach a point where, like I mentioned above, (view spoiler)[Deseem and Liam could admit to their love. But instead, it was another "we'll get there one day!" (hide spoiler)] I also would have liked to see a re-connection of Liam to his family instead of things just getting worse.Third, although the plot was really a few mini plots, some things weren't ever answered or brought up again. 1.(view spoiler)[ For example, Deseem's brother was nice at the beginning and then turned evil. Why? What made him change? Then he tried to give Deseem spies to place in the enemies' palace. Why? or rather, did he ever successfully get some in? There was a whole scene over this and yet it was dropped and the threat never brought up again. (hide spoiler)] mini-er spoiler --> (view spoiler)[ I would have liked to see Irend again later in the story, if only as the bad guy. But he and that plot point were just kind of dropped and weren't ever connected back into the story (hide spoiler)]2. The guardians. Like What! They seem so cool and could have played such an awesome role in the story, but they were instead in that one scene and then once more briefly at the end. No fair! I don't think there was anything else I had to say, but I'll update if I remember something!TLDR; The story is good and I recommend it because it's a wonderful mm fantasy romance. But the story itself could have been a little longer/better organized.

  • Rosie
    2019-04-11 14:44

    This was a hell of a lot better than what I expected! When I found this story, I'd been desperately searching for any m/m book that I hadn't read yet and was halfway decent - I was in one of those moods where I only wanted to read a m/m story! But boy am I glad I found this story.I LOVED it. The world was created so beautifully and I loved the development of the characters (even though Liam's took a bit of a while lol). The magic system was great and I love how the author gave each talent unique names and the concept of Elementals (and the whole Guardian/Watcher thing). The two cultures were great and I really loved how they contrasted off one another, as well as the amount of detail in each one. Even though we only saw Deseem's culture at the beginning, the detail in that was just... woah. Every little thing was perfect and it truly seemed like a cohesive culture, rather than a bad rip-off of others.The only reason this didn't get 5 stars was because of two things:1) Punctuation. This story needs a REALLY good edit. The word flow was fantastic and eloquent, and the author had a very strong voice that got the message across beautifully and succinctly. But commas were almost never used properly (and never there, actually) as well as 'than' instead of 'then', and 'to' instead of 'too' - there are probably other errors but those were the ones that were most frequent and come to mind now.2) The way the chapters were structured. I truly did not understand this and those around me when I speed-read through this in one day (because it seriously is amazing) will know my absolute frustration with how the chapters ended. I know some authors (like Maria V. Snyder) end the chapter on a big cliffhanger, sometimes in the middle of a scene to make the reader continue on. But here, the chapters ended at a random place in the middle of a scene for NO REASON. To me, when a chapter ends there's a break and usually it moves to the next scene, so I would be in that mindframe and then EVERY TIME would get very confused when the scene just continued on, no breaks. It was like each chapter was a certain amount of words and it just got chopped off at the end of a sentence, regardless of where the scene was at. I don't mind this sometimes, but every time? It ruined the flow of the words.I really hope that there is a second book to this. This story left me with a lot of unanswered questions - (view spoiler)[ what ever happened with the war? Deseem's brother and uncle were a step away from civil war with their king and Deseem's marriage was meant to resolve this, but no mention was ever made to that again. Surely one of the characters should've mentioned whether Deseem's father was heeding the treaty marriage or not? That's a pretty big thing to miss. And now that Deseem has Elemental powers, what's happening with that? I get that Liam will become his mentor and all that, but what then? There's a lot more I want to know!(hide spoiler)]So the majority of this review has been negative and I don't want you thinking I didn't enjoy it, because I most certainly did. The characters were amazing and likeable (I reaaaaally like Lach hahaha), the plotline kept me guessing and as an avid fan of world-building, I really appreciated the effort that went into creating this world.All in all, I think the author did an incredible job and that this is one of very few fantasy m/m stories that are truly amazing quality!

  • Fencer_x
    2019-03-30 12:36

    I'm a sucker for arranged marriages that both parties intend to be sexless cold beds turning into passionate mutual romances, and while this wasn't exactly that, I can admit to a guilty pleasure with 'fuck or die' scenarios too (as it were), plus I found the sex scenes quite entertaining iykwim. So the setup? Hooked me. The story was enjoyable for the most part, though I'll admit the last quarter of the book seemed to go by at light speed, not because I was reading quickly but because the author just shoved SO much into the pages they had left, skipping ahead sometimes hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks without really telling the reader they had, leaving me kind of floundering to figure out where we were in the course of things. I tended to use Deseem's progress as a metric by which I could determine, "Okay, we're still on the same day," or "okay, several weeks have passed now," and that's not ideal.Some decry the (literally lol) special snowflake syndrome going on, and how everyone is beautiful, practically perfect in every way. For me, while I see it, it was the least of my concerns with the book. I was able to forgive it in large part because there were bigger fish to contend with.Overall, I enjoyed the book and do not regret reading it at all. But my enjoyment of the book is exactly what makes the shortcomings all the more obvious and painful.What mainly keeps me from giving this a higher score, though, was the pretty horrible editing. Grammar errors, punctuation errors, spelling errors--I certainly hope this was the author's own work and not the final product after being pored over by a copy editor, because if so, that editor should be fired, lol. Perhaps I'm pickier than the usual reader, as I'm a copy editor myself, but I doubt I'd be hard-pressed to find something wrong in every other sentence, if not every sentence.And it wasn't just the SPAG that suffered without a proper edit--there were POV switches all OVER the place (yes, I know how hard it can be sometimes sticking with a single POV in some scenes, but you have to work through it--at LEAST stick with the same POV for the same scene). The story was great, to be sure, but while a few errors are certainly forgivable, this was pretty appalling, so I hope if there's a subsequent second print or anything like that, that the author asks for a new copy editor to fix the above-mentioned SPAG and give the whole manuscript a general look-over, as there were many areas that just needed to be brushed up, from a general writing point of view.

  • Daesy
    2019-04-13 09:39

    Ok so the 1st things i've to say it that i was expecting a different end, and also i think a sequel could be really good.Deseem loves Liam, but Liam is too hurt to be able to love again so soon.At the same time when Liam sees Deseem with another man(fann if i dont mistake),who is well known for his flirts and lovers,Liam gets frozen in his steps and runs away.Lach his brother explains to him that was all a finction,but that Fann had decided for hinmself to kiss Deseem,bcs that wasnt in the pact.They had done this to let Liam understand how he feels about Deseem.The end is not bad,but i would like to see a sequel where Liam finally admits he loves Deseem too,bcs i'm really sure it's like that.The sad thing is that Deseem was finally going back to his normal self and we still didnt have the chance to see him better.The author could make him go with Liam in battle and talk more about his powers...idk is just that u read almost all the book thinking "pls fix Deseem and make Liam understand how he feels",and then when there's the possibility to make it happen the book is ending and there's only a short chapter and you're like "wait maybe in the next page all will be explained...ok is not here wait the next page" and then the book ends.The author makes some grammatical erros(no one is perfect),and also sometimes u're readying and the story jumps to another moment,and you're like"what? did i miss a page?,how the hell did we get at this moment?",i understand how hard it is to write and make the story good, and how each writers thinks about their book like it is their son.I just hope that when he'll have time and wants,to read a sequel that will be a real end and not leaving the things like they're now.Said that i think ppl should read this book,there's romane also if sometimes is subtle and one important thing NO cheating of the chars.I dont consider some kisses with others and if u read the book u'll understand why not.Ty and srr for my errors,i just had those feelings to write XD

  • Straysod
    2019-04-18 08:29

    There are plenty of excellent reviews of this already, so I'll keep my two cents short (well, I'll try to, at least). This really is an excellent story. I love the characters, even or maybe especially, the minor characters. They grow and change in fairly realistic ways (it's still a romance, for goodness' sake, but there's no insta-love and it takes real time for the wounded characters to begin to mend). The action is present but not rushed, and the story does a truly spectacular job of making you feel with and for the characters. I found it to be very emotional and cathartic. Really, the only reason I give this a 4 instead of a 5 is the editing. And possibly the fact that I had such a spectacularly difficult time getting a hold of it. There are times that the writing is awkward, and there are many misspellings, incorrect words and unintentional sentence fragments. It's obvious the author is good, and the writing noticeably got better as the story went on. (Although, strangely, it seemed like the editing got worse; that may be because the longer I read, the more attuned to it I became, however.) It's just that the story would really blossom with a good editor. I would love to see this as an e-book, rather than just an online story. I had to get a subscription to read it, and that sucks, because it is a good enough story that I know I am going to want to read it again and again in the future.One other thing, this story really reminded me of a more mature version of Vanyel's story in Mercedes Lackey's Valdemar series. It's by no means a copy, but certain elements like the guardians, an incredibly powerful but sweet and easily hurt gay mage, etc., really felt familiar. So if you liked Vanyel, and you like m/m romance, I think you will probably adore this story.

  • C. Rocky
    2019-04-09 15:32

    2,5 stars actually. What I loved: the world building. I found it complex and original. Also Deseem's growth throughout the story. He went from being a deeply traumatized young man to a slightly less traumatized one. Pretty realistic, I think. What I hated: Liam "the horndog". He spends all the story wanting to bang Nolan (not the other mc!) and others. And kisses at least 3 people other than his husband. (2 in front of him with no warning!). Of course he's also deeply affected when D kisses someone else. Double standards much?That whore Nolan, who is always reminding Deseem that he can fuck Liam anytime. Wtf?! And the worse thing is that he's right. I mean, when i read a romance I like a little romance BETWEEN the MC and not Liam with all his exes. I was so angry at all this, but I still stayed up until 7am to read. The ending was rather dissatisfying too. I was hoping Liam was finally sure of his feelings for Deseem, but no. He still needs time. He still wishes he could go back in time to his threeway marriage. Still wants to fuck Nolan who doesn't want him. Something else that caught my attention is that Liam was supposedly so inlove with his late wife. But then, he's always saying he prefers men. At one point he almost recognizes he's gay. I don't get it. Why not make him fully bisexual instead of -what I consider- closeted? Maybe he loved her deeply (as a friend or mother figure) but sexually he connected better with Nolan?. In the sencond part of the book he's all bout Nolan... The story still is a lot better than most books I've read lately and is also free! So if you don't mind and MC that's more inlove with everyone else than his partner, I'm sure you'll like this one.

  • Sam
    2019-03-23 12:28

    God I loved this book.Explanation: there are a lot of reasons, I'll explain some (it's after twelve and I need to get up at eight). Firstly, the different cultures were nicely explained without literally explaining (does that make sense?). By showing the main characters' culture and by dialogue-induced (or just experience stumbled upon) comparisons we got the know all about the intriguing (I hope I didn't misspell that, forgive me English is my fourth language) culture set-ups.LoveLoveLove! Really, this book really did a good job at distracting my from my pre-exam exams (which are exams that don't really count, strange, but usefull) and reading 'till after twelve when I had to get up at seven. (I'm starting to hate my alarm tunes, which, sadly, are my favourite songs)This book includes: nice romance, satisfying character developement, and lovely forest creature.Bad things: Spelling and grammar. No, I should say Spelyng end grammer. Author, do something about it, or I'll haunt you in your dreams.Another thing: the best part... is yet to come. Which means: is not written. I am dying of frustration, author, please allow me to see miss husband become a suporcosmicpowerduo with his darling hubby!I wants to know!!!! (Yes, that grammar fault was made on purpose, with the purpose of looking cute.) I. Need. A. Sequel.(So I can spend more nights neglecting my studies... Maybe I don't...)Au revoir, may you all be well and (view spoiler)[ develop supercosmicpowers while topping your lovely husbands.(hide spoiler)] <3

  • likesands
    2019-04-09 10:51

    I really, really loved this book. But I'm not sure if it's because the book is actually any good, or because it hit so many of my favourite tropes from my years reading slash fiction. Deseem is a prince from an oppressive culture who has basically been abused and kept hidden away from people his entire life. His father, the King, has invoked an ancient law to change Deseem's status to that of 'Bentan Bride' to sell him off and make treaties with his neighbours. After a lot of drama, he finds himself married to Liam, a Watcher-Prince from a country that's been at war with his own for years. This is basically every Fantasy AU slash fic I've ever loved. There's a lot of cultural misunderstandings, arranged marriage angst, and Liam manfully trying to stop himself from ravishing Deseem. And the ending was slightly cheesy, but for this kind of book how could it not be?Really the only thing I didn't love about this book? The editing and grammar is terrible! There were also some really weird POV changes right in the middle of the paragraph. I mean I got used to it, but it was really distracting. If you're looking for a slightly cheesy m/m fantasy romance then this the perfect book.